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People will always tell you how much they love you, I've seen; and then it makes me wonder what their definition of love is and just how far they take love. I guess that's just where all the indecision and confusion comes in. Is love a near synonym of acceptance or support? Or are those just sub-categories in reference to love. Then again, in some definitions, acceptance and support have nothing to do with love at all. Maybe love is just a hormonal reaction or an attraction of sorts. Even then, it doesn't make dealing with the thing any easier.

In all honesty, I'm feeling rather empty, mainly to do with just that. Maybe it's fear of the unknown, and maybe it is a fear of the known. I've emailed my dad and it's a small issue that to me, is very important and could very rewrite the course of my life,and all I can think of to say is "I don't know". I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. There's always been that thought that a parents love never fades, then again, how can you be sure it was even there?

He has issues with my "living in sin", calling what I'm going through a struggle with my relationship in God and His Word. I am simply showing him who I am, refusing to hide behind someone I have been built up to be in his mind. He said he will always love me and yet says he cannot support "sin". How can there be love without support, though? These are some things I just don't understand, and may never. I wish it was a straight down the middle answer, a "take it or leave it" situation, and yet, at times, it doesn't seem that way at all, as if no matter what, I am doomed to living in the middle stuck in the confusion people create, confusion my mind creates.